{"id":1479,"date":"2015-01-13T07:50:00","date_gmt":"2015-01-13T12:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.silvercentury.org\/2017\/09\/oh-grow-up\/"},"modified":"2018-05-02T08:53:45","modified_gmt":"2018-05-02T12:53:45","slug":"oh-grow-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/78.142.243.82\/~silvercentury\/2015\/01\/oh-grow-up\/","title":{"rendered":"Oh, Grow Up!"},"content":{"rendered":"

That was my visceral (and ever so mature) reaction to \u201cWho Are You Calling Grandma?,\u201d a fluff piece in the New York Times<\/em> about how baby boomer grandparents, especially celebs, are rejecting traditional grandmonikers for hipper titles. Apparently Gwyneth Paltrow\u2019s mother, the actress Blythe Danner, lobbied for Woof (unsuccessfully; Lalo won out), while Goldie Hawn\u2019s son saved the day by coming up with Glam-Ma.<\/p>\n

Gag-worthy, but less so than Hawn\u2019s comment about the day her first grandchild arrived. She was thrilled, yes, \u201cbut was I really a \u2018grandmother?\u2019\u201d It\u2019s a word, she said, with \u201cconnotations of old age and decrepitude.\u201d Or Paltrow\u2019s blunt take on Blythe\u2019s behalf: \u201cMy mom\u2019s hot and she didn\u2019t want to be called Grandma.\u201d <\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to be snarky about stars, though, and they have plenty of company. \u201cIt turns out most baby boomers I know felt the same way\u2014love the idea, hate the name; we are such a herd,\u201d says Lin Wellford (aka Mimi), coauthor with her daughter Skye Pifer of The New Grandparents Name Book<\/em> (2009). At least these boomers aren\u2019t rejecting grandparenthood itself, even though pushing a stroller or wiping a snotty little nose might make them look you-know-what. Yet they\u2019re running that risk, even in the pages of People<\/em> magazine. It\u2019s just the traditional names, apparently, that make them feel old. <\/p>\n

What\u2019s depressing is that it hasn\u2019t occurred to them how much more fun it would be to grab Grandma (or Grandpa) proudly, to shout it from the rooftops\u2014to own it, as they say\u2014and in so doing, subvert the conventional notion of how grannies look and act. Now that <\/em>would be liberating, infinitely more so than taking short-term shelter behind Woof and Woofster (or Sonoma and Napa, a suggestion from the name book \u201cfor a more sophisticated set\u201d). <\/p>\n

My partner, Bob, and I became grandparents (Bobbo and Gran) a year ago. When I ran this name stuff past him, he took issue, maintaining that our generation is redefining the grandparent gig and that I was missing its progressive aspect. \u201cWe don\u2019t want to think of ourselves the way we think of grandparents, as aged and infirm. I didn\u2019t want the word that for my whole life has meant old: Granddad,\u201d he explained. \u201cI\u2019m not an old guy with grey hair.\u201d (He\u2019s 65 and bald.) <\/p>\n

Media coverage makes this point too: that baby boomers want their grandkids to see them as rock-and-roll-loving, Wii-playing buddies, not as fuddy-duddies, and that casual names are more conducive to this less formal relationship. Well, yeah, except it\u2019s not the kids who require persuasion. They\u2019ll play ball with Gramps as readily as with Sonoma. Names aren\u2019t what matter to them.<\/p>\n

Back to Bob. When I countered that being called Granddad would only make him feel old if he allowed it to, if he bought into the ageist thinking that it would make him old in the eyes of others, he shook his head. \u201cIt makes me old in my<\/em> eyes,\u201d he said. \u201cDiscomfort with the word is one thing,\u201d he went on, \u201cbut it\u2019s also discomfort with how society portrays people of a certain age.\u201d <\/p>\n

Bingo. We\u2019re overjoyed to be grandparents, but we\u2019re horrified by the way society\u2014of which we are part\u2014treats grandparents. Of course it\u2019s perfectly fine to go by Lalo or Mimi, and it\u2019s the diapered set who come up with most nicknames anyhow. But what bears hard scrutiny is our visceral rejection of their more traditional counterparts and the self-loathing in which it\u2019s rooted. Spurning Grandma on principle is the equivalent of lying about our age, an act of denial that entraps and corrodes and eventually sneaks up and bites us. Until then, we\u2019re stranded somewhere between vanity and delusion.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

That was my visceral (and ever so mature) reaction to \u201cWho Are You Calling Grandma?,\u201d a fluff piece in the New York Times<\/em> about how baby boomer grandparents, especially celebs, are rejecting traditional grandmonikers for hipper titles.<\/p>\n

Read more Oh, Grow Up!<\/span> ›<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n

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