{"id":3526,"date":"2018-03-07T12:00:01","date_gmt":"2018-03-07T17:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.silvercentury.org\/?p=3526"},"modified":"2019-05-07T13:08:06","modified_gmt":"2019-05-07T17:08:06","slug":"boomerang-seniors-theyre-moving-to-be-near-mom-or-dad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/78.142.243.82\/~silvercentury\/2018\/03\/boomerang-seniors-theyre-moving-to-be-near-mom-or-dad\/","title":{"rendered":"Boomerang Seniors\u2014They\u2019re Moving to Be Near Mom or Dad"},"content":{"rendered":"

What happens when people who are already in their later years have parents who are even older\u2014and need a caregiver? Reporter Sharon Jayson investigates one possible solution. She wrote this article for <\/em>Kaiser Health News<\/a>, which posted it on April 3, 2017. It also ran in<\/em> USA Today.<\/p>\n

Like many peers in their 70s, Lois and Richard Jones of Media, PA, sold their home and downsized, opting for an apartment in a nearby senior living community they had come to know well. For 13 years, they have visited Lois\u2019 mother, Madge Wertzberger, there.<\/p>\n

Wertzberger, 95, is in assisted living at Granite Farms Estates. Lois, 73, and Richard, 76, who have been married 56 years, moved into an adjoining building in October.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt wouldn\u2019t take me more than three minutes to walk to where she is,\u201d said Lois. \u201cI don\u2019t have to drive anywhere to help her or to meet with her [medical] team. I\u2019m right here.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Joneses are great-grandparents. Yet they\u2019re among a growing group of seniors with a living parent<\/a> which means these 21st-century, postretirement years might well include parental caretaking. Expectations are altered amid the new reality of longer life expectancy and growing numbers of aged Americans.<\/p>\n

\u201cI pop in when I need to take something to her or discuss things. We see each other minimally once a week, and it can be more,\u201d Jones said. \u201cMy youngest sister normally takes her to the doctor, but I do some sharing on that. Just because I\u2019m here doesn\u2019t mean I have to take her to her doctor\u2019s appointments.\u201d<\/p>\n

When you retire, you hope for a new freedom from responsibility, but if you have very old parents, that just doesn\u2019t happen.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Caregiving for an older family member is not what it was when [it was] first studied and the term \u201csandwich generation\u201d [was coined for] those people squeezed between aging parents and young children, said Amy Horowitz, a professor of social work at Fordham University in New York City.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow it\u2019s the children who are on the verge of retirement or who have retired and are still having responsibility [for] older parents,\u201d she said. \u201cIn New York City, I know somebody whose almost-90-year-old mother is living in the same apartment building. It becomes, how do you balance your own life?\u201d<\/p>\n

Kathrin Boerner, an associate professor of gerontology at the University of Massachusetts, Boston, discovered a recurring theme in her research on centenarians and their adult children\u2014that is, very old parents and their elderly children. Even if their children are not direct caregivers, they still must monitor their parents\u2019 welfare.<\/p>\n

\u201cWith the demographics we\u2019re looking at, I refer to it as \u2018aging together,\u2019\u2014the parent-child constellation will be a lot more frequent,\u201d Boerner said.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor a lot of people, that is the time\u2014if you\u2019re in good enough health\u2014you hope for a time of greater freedom. You\u2019re past all the other caregiving tasks and, for most people, they can dedicate to their own needs,\u201d Boerner said. \u201cBut for those with very old parents, it just doesn\u2019t happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

In her 2015 presentation<\/a> at the Gerontological Society of America, she noted, \u201cThe very old are the fastest-growing segment of the population in most developed countries, with an expected increase of 51 percent of elders, age 80 plus, between 2010 and 2030.\u201d And two-thirds of these very old have advanced-aged children, who typically serve as their primary caregiver.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe heard things from someone like an 80-year-old\u2014\u2018I don\u2019t have a life.\u2019 Imagine that. You\u2019re 80 years old, and \u2018I don\u2019t have a life because I\u2019m caring for my mother,\u2019\u201d Boerner said.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, it\u2019s the older adult child with more health issues than the parent.<\/p>\n

Carol Pali, 71, moved into Fort Washington Estates in Fort Washington, PA, in October 2014, prompted by a diagnosis of multiple myeloma, a blood cancer, around the same time she retired from full-time teaching.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt got to a point where I was in and out of the hospital all the time,\u201d she said. \u201cI just decided I might as well move in here too. It\u2019s better than having to take care of the house.\u201d  <\/p>\n

On the rise: the number of people of retirement age who have moved into a continuing care community to be near parents who already live there.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Pali had lived in a townhouse around the corner from the community, where her mother, Peg Henrys, who [had] turned 97 [recently], had moved three years earlier.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy mom moved from New Jersey to be closer to me,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Mother and daughter are in the independent-living section of Fort Washington Estates, about 25 miles north of Philadelphia.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe get to see each other every day at dinner time, but she\u2019s got her life here and I\u2019ve got mine. We\u2019re not with each other all the time,\u201d Pali said.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s in better shape than I am,\u201d Pali said. \u201cI had non-Hodgkin\u2019s lymphoma before. And my mom has nothing, except she can\u2019t hear very well.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fort Washington Estates is part of Acts Retirement-Life Communities, a suburban Philadelphia-based company operating continuing-care, senior-living communities in eight states, serving nearly 9,000 residents. Costs vary by location, type of community, occupants and contract, according to Acts spokesman Michael Smith.<\/p>\n

Fees at Fort Washington are lower than the company average of $245,000 for the entrance fee and $2,800 a month, he said. At Fort Washington, the entrance fee starts at $140,000 and the monthly fee is $2,486. Smith said monthly fees do not increase with higher levels of care.<\/p>\n

Theresa Perry, Acts\u2019 corporate director of wellness services, said such parent-child arrangements are on the rise at their communities.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey can keep an eye on Mom or Dad and don\u2019t have to travel from where they lived,\u201d Perry said. \u201cIt makes a big difference to them knowing the family is so close, and they can just walk over to visit.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jones, of Media, said she and her two sisters (one lives 10 minutes away; the other, 40 minutes away) have a weekly knitting date with their mother.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe all knit and spend a good portion of the day with her,\u201d Jones said of the Thursday sessions.<\/p>\n

She also stays busy with Bible study, church services and programs featuring professors from local colleges\u2014all on-site.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have joined in so many of the activities here,\u201d she said. \u201cWe have a whole new social group. There are a lot of activities we participate in here at Granite Farms, but we haven\u2019t given up our outside friends or activities.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jones said she and her husband sought to escape from the worries associated with a larger home and assume control over their future while they could. Living near her mother lets them blend caregiving with a relatively carefree lifestyle.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe were looking to exchange responsibility for fun,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Like many peers in their 70s, Lois and Richard Jones of Media, PA, sold their home and downsized, opting for an apartment in a nearby senior living community they had come to know well. For 13 years, they have visited Lois\u2019 mother, Madge Wertzberger, there.<\/p>\n

Read more Boomerang Seniors\u2014They\u2019re Moving to Be Near Mom or Dad<\/span> ›<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n

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