Marc Blesoff was a criminal defense attorney for 35 years. Six years ago, he began facilitating Conscious Aging workshops. He says that helped him melt the armor he\u2019d built up as a defense lawyer. He\u2019s a founding member of A Tribe Called Aging, which defines itself as a group of \u201cactivists and thinkers trying to understand and change our culture\u2019s outlook, policies and fears about aging and dying.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n
Three days ago, I had a face-to-face meeting with another person for the first time in over a year. Two days ago, I had coffee on my front porch with a friend for the first time in over a year. Yesterday, accompanied by my daughter, I went shopping at Costco for the first time in over a year. What a week, and what a year.<\/span><\/p>\n It felt like the \u201cold normal.\u201d My meeting lasted for two hours and we could have kept going; I still make my coffee too strong; I spent more than I needed to at Costco. Some things never change.<\/span><\/p>\n Before you read any further, let me be clear\u2014I am <\/span>not<\/span><\/i> advocating stupidity. For those of us who have been so careful for so long, abandoning caution now would be plain stupid. <\/span><\/p>\n My face-to-face meeting was outside, both of us vaccinated, sitting at each end of a park bench, wearing masks. My friend is vaccinated, and we sat more than six feet apart as we sipped coffee on the front porch. My daughter, who\u2019s been in my bubble since December, is vaccinated, and we shopped wearing masks. <\/span><\/p>\n Caution definitely needs to be part of the unfolding new normal. As do the many improvements forced upon us by COVID-19, such as working from home, telehealth and digital meetings.<\/span><\/p>\n As we shopped, I couldn\u2019t help but notice how my daughter shouldered much of the load\u2014she was more organized than I was, made great suggestions, lifted the 40-pound bag of dog food and remembered the several items I failed to get. I had this clear sense of just how I was getting older. Out of the blue, I thought how I\u2019d already outlived my father by six years. The last time I saw my father alive flashed before my eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n As I drove out of the parking lot, thoughts came quickly, including: it was good to be back shopping in person; how fortunate I am to have had supplies delivered to my door for over a year; and a question, how many more times would I get to shop at Costco before I died? Suddenly, I realized how poignant my relatively mundane shopping trip had become. <\/span><\/p>\n The pandemic experience is allowing me to appreciate things I\u2019d taken for granted. And that reminded me how my aging has helped me to slow down, to take notice and, sometimes, to appreciate seemingly small things.<\/span><\/p>\n That\u2019s when the tears started\u2014not sobbing tears, but poignancy tears, the kind you can keep to yourself, but tears, nonetheless. Sitting beside me in the front seat, my daughter didn\u2019t notice. Wondering what these tears were about, I realized that it wasn\u2019t just how many more times might I get to Costco, or my own dad\u2019s death. It was also about my daughter, and how many more times I\u2019ll get to be with her, and how she\u2019ll feel after I die. And then it was about the rest of my family too. It was a serious, realistic and honest awareness of my mortality.<\/span><\/p>\n There I was, driving home with the groceries and feeling, actually feeling, the inevitable.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Marc Blesoff was a criminal defense attorney for 35 years. Six years ago, he began facilitating Conscious Aging workshops. He says that helped him melt the armor he\u2019d built up as a defense lawyer. He\u2019s a founding member of A Tribe…<\/span><\/p>\n