{"id":7542,"date":"2024-01-31T07:44:49","date_gmt":"2024-01-31T12:44:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.silvercentury.org\/?p=7542"},"modified":"2024-01-31T07:44:49","modified_gmt":"2024-01-31T12:44:49","slug":"three-ages","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/78.142.243.82\/~silvercentury\/2024\/01\/three-ages\/","title":{"rendered":"Three Ages"},"content":{"rendered":"

I think I am three ages; my chronological age, the age that I feel, and the age that I look. <\/span><\/p>\n

Of these, chronology is the objective one. It\u2019s just math, right? But what does the number of the Earth\u2019s revolutions around the sun since I was born have to do with anything? The age that I feel and the age that I look are both subjective. Indeed, for the most part, my looks depend upon what somebody else thinks.<\/span><\/p>\n

We all age differently\u2014there is no template. There\u2019s probably no more heterogeneous group than older people. Yes, changes are inevitable as we age, but not necessarily at the same time, or in a similar order or even of the same type for everybody. When somebody quips, \u201cYou look great for 75!\u201d I respond, \u201cThis is what 75 looks like!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I recently saw a guy whom I\u2019d worked with for quite a few years, whom I hadn\u2019t seen since pre-COVID days. I stared at him momentarily. To me, he looked like he was his own father\u2014frail, more sagging, more wrinkles. It made me wonder, how do I look? And underneath that is the ageist, \u201cI hope I don\u2019t look like that.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

The other day, as I was driving, I had to slow down for a woman shuffling across the street, walking with a cane. As I drove past her slowly, I recognized that we\u2019d been in a neighborhood walking group together about 15 years ago. She had changed significantly. Back when we walked together, she told great jokes, always making me laugh. It made me wonder if she\u2019d still bring a smile to my face. But really, what does her mobility have to do with her sense of humor?<\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s a guy in one of my social networks who seems to be having some difficulties staying focused. When he runs a meeting or joins a get-together, he\u2019s not very well organized. He just doesn\u2019t seem as sharp as he used to be. It made me wonder if he knows he\u2019s changed, and if he ever talks about it with anybody.<\/span><\/p>\n

How should we treat our family or friends or acquaintances who don\u2019t seem as sharp as they used to be? Most of us learn at an early chronological age to dismiss them as just getting old, an example of unconscious bias. But which age are we dismissing them for\u2014the way they complain about how they are feeling, or the way they show their age, or their mathematical \u201crevolutions-around-the-sun\u201d age?<\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps we can learn to treat them with empathy and kindness no matter what their age, rather than to just make them invisible. After all, we\u2019re all in this together.<\/span><\/p>\n

These are not things we usually talk about. There seems to be a social taboo regarding honest talk about the inevitable changes we all go through as we age\u2014both the difficulties and the opportunities. <\/span><\/p>\n

Difficulties like compromised balance, weaker muscles or just not being as sharp as we used to be. Opportunities like the brain’s ability to adapt and reorganize itself or get closer to being the person we\u2019d like to be.<\/span><\/p>\n

No matter which of my three ages other people choose as my calling card, I will have the opportunity to be who I am and to be present with them.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I think I am three ages; my chronological age, the age that I feel, and the age that I look.  Of these, chronology is the objective one. It\u2019s just math, right? But what does the number of the Earth\u2019s revolutions…<\/span><\/p>\n

Read more Three Ages<\/span> ›<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n

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