{"id":7584,"date":"2024-03-19T11:56:06","date_gmt":"2024-03-19T15:56:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.silvercentury.org\/?p=7584"},"modified":"2024-03-19T11:56:06","modified_gmt":"2024-03-19T15:56:06","slug":"to-drive-or-not-to-drive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/78.142.243.82\/~silvercentury\/2024\/03\/to-drive-or-not-to-drive\/","title":{"rendered":"To Drive or Not to Drive"},"content":{"rendered":"

Back when my husband was in his 70s, he kept having fender benders. He was losing his eyesight, and I knew he should stop driving, but he refused. After each minor accident, he rationalized that it could have happened to anybody. It was a fluke, he said, and it wouldn\u2019t happen again. <\/span><\/p>\n

Today, my husband is gone and I\u2019m crowding 90 myself. Most of my friends no longer drive, and probably, not long from now, I\u2019ll have to stop too. I dread that. As you grow older, your world shrinks, and already, just thinking about it, I can feel mine closing in.  <\/span><\/p>\n

I haven\u2019t had any accidents and like most older people, I\u2019ve set limits: I don\u2019t drive after dark or in bad weather, and I use major highways only when I have to. I am perhaps too cautious. Locally, I\u2019m reluctant to take unfamiliar roads to unfamiliar places, because it\u2019s hard for me to read street names and house numbers while driving at a reasonable speed. <\/span><\/p>\n

State laws dictate how old you have to be to start driving, but there are no laws or even customs for when you must stop. Which is a good thing, because we age at different speeds. But those of us 70 and up are more likely to crash than other age groups, except teens and early 20-somethings. And we\u2019re more fragile, so we\u2019re more likely to be injured or killed in a car crash. Researchers report that most people drive seven to 10 years longer than they should. I don\u2019t want to be one of them. <\/span><\/p>\n

Other people apparently feel the same way, and I\u2019ve read that some are signing advance directives for driving. If I were to use the one <\/span>provided by AAA<\/span><\/a>, I\u2019d designate a family member or friend to tell me when it was time to stop driving\u2014and that person would agree to help me figure out how to get around without my car. These directives aren\u2019t legally enforceable, but they\u2019re hard-to-ignore, informal agreements. <\/span><\/p>\n

Though I\u2019m not yet ready to give up driving, a directive initially seemed to me like a good idea. I don\u2019t want to take the risks my husband took. But then I decided I don\u2019t need a formal document. I can do what several friends have done and ask one particular person to tell me when I should stop driving. My adult children don\u2019t live nearby and have no idea how well (or badly) I drive, but I have a good friend who rides with me once a week when we go to the supermarket, so I asked her. <\/span><\/p>\n

Less than 10 days later, I was pulling out of our retirement community, and we hadn\u2019t gone six feet when my friend remarked that I should have my driving checked by a driving rehabilitation specialist. I was startled. Indignant. What had I done to make her think I needed help? <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019d swung wide as I turned the corner outside the community, she said, and I\u2019d briefly crossed the line into the opposite lane, though there was a car coming. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI always swing wide there,\u201d I protested. \u201cIt\u2019s a tight turn, and I once drove up over the curb. I don\u2019t want to do it again. I saw the car in the far lane, and I knew I had time to get out of its way.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

There was no screeching of brakes\u2014nobody honked or gave me the finger. It wasn\u2019t a close call.<\/span><\/p>\n

All the same, my friend was sure I should have myself tested. I\u2019ve read about how that works. You spend three or four hours answering questions about your health and driving record, and then you take a road test. Afterward, the specialist suggests ways you can drive more safely\u2014or advises you to stop driving altogether. <\/span><\/p>\n

In spite of our agreement, my friend\u2019s advice upset me. Actually, the thought of no longer being able to drive sent me into a panic, and I regretted asking her to help. I was as sure as my husband ever was that I\u2019m still OK behind the wheel. <\/span><\/p>\n

Later, I realized that when I turned that corner, we were talking, and I may not have been paying close enough attention to what I was doing. Normally, I would have waited until the other car passed before pulling out onto the road. I did cut things closer than usual. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve identified several places I can go to have my driving tested, but for now, I\u2019m not planning to do that. Instead, I\u2019m going to be super careful whenever I\u2019m behind the wheel. If I make another mistake, I\u2019ll immediately arrange for a test. <\/span><\/p>\n

The incident made me realize just how badly I want to go on driving and what a life-wrenching decision it will be to stop. And that stopping isn\u2019t something theoretical that will happen someday. It\u2019s as certain as death and taxes.   <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Back when my husband was in his 70s, he kept having fender benders. He was losing his eyesight, and I knew he should stop driving, but he refused. After each minor accident, he rationalized that it could have happened to…<\/span><\/p>\n

Read more To Drive or Not to Drive<\/span> ›<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n

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