{"id":8123,"date":"2025-06-29T07:09:13","date_gmt":"2025-06-29T11:09:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.silvercentury.org\/?p=8123"},"modified":"2025-06-29T07:09:13","modified_gmt":"2025-06-29T11:09:13","slug":"facing-the-uncertainties-of-aging","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/78.142.243.82\/~silvercentury\/2025\/06\/facing-the-uncertainties-of-aging\/","title":{"rendered":"Facing the Uncertainties of Aging"},"content":{"rendered":"

Facing her own retirement, journalist Judith Graham contemplates the uncertainties we all face in later life and draws on what she\u2019s learned in four decades as a journalist and more than the eight years writing the \u201cNavigating Aging\u201d column for <\/span><\/i>KFF Health News<\/span><\/i><\/a>, which posted this piece on January 15, 2025. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

It takes a lot of courage to grow old.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve come to appreciate this after conversations with hundreds of older adults over the past eight years for nearly 200 \u201cNavigating Aging\u201d columns.<\/span><\/p>\n

Time and again, people have described what it\u2019s like to let go of certainties they once lived with and adjust to new circumstances.<\/span><\/p>\n

These older adults\u2019 lives are filled with change. They don\u2019t know what the future holds except that the end is nearer than it\u2019s ever been.<\/span><\/p>\n

And yet, they find ways to adapt. To move forward. To find meaning in their lives. And I find myself resolving to follow this path as I ready myself for retirement.<\/span><\/p>\n

Patricia Estess, 85, of the Brooklyn borough of New York City spoke eloquently about the unpredictability of later life when I reached out to her as I reported a <\/span>series of columns<\/span><\/a> on older adults who live alone, sometimes known as \u201csolo agers.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Estess had taken a course on solo aging. \u201cYou realize that other people are in the same boat as you are,\u201d she said when I asked what she had learned. \u201cWe\u2019re all dealing with uncertainty.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Many people find that embarking on later life changes their sense of identity. <\/b><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Consider the questions that older adults\u2014whether living with others or by themselves\u2014deal with year in and out: Will my bones break? Will my thinking skills and memory endure? Will I be able to make it up the stairs of my home, where I\u2019m trying to age in place?<\/span><\/p>\n

Will beloved friends and family members remain an ongoing source of support? If not, who will be around to provide help when it\u2019s needed?<\/span><\/p>\n

Will I have enough money to support a long and healthy life, if that\u2019s in the cards? Will community and government resources be available, if needed?<\/span><\/p>\n

It takes courage to face these uncertainties and advance into the unknown with a measure of equanimity.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a question of attitude,\u201d Estess told me. \u201cI have honed an attitude of, \u2018I am getting older. Things will happen. I will do what I can to plan in advance. I will be more careful. But I will deal with things as they come up.\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

For many people, becoming old alters their sense of identity. They feel like strangers to themselves. Their bodies and minds aren\u2019t working as they used to. They don\u2019t feel the sense of control they once felt.<\/span><\/p>\n

That requires a different type of courage\u2014the courage to embrace and accept their older selves.<\/span><\/p>\n

Writer May Sarton described old age as ‘a foreign country with an unknown language.’<\/b><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Marna Clarke<\/a>,<\/span> a photographer, spent more than a dozen years documenting her changing body and her life with her partner as they grew older. Along the way, she learned to view aging with new eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNow, I think there\u2019s a beauty that comes out of people when they accept who they are,\u201d she told me in 2022 when she was 82, just before her 93-year-old husband died.<\/span><\/p>\n

Arthur Kleinman<\/a>, a Harvard professor who\u2019s now 83, gained a deeper sense of soulfulness after caring for his beloved wife, who had dementia and eventually died, leaving him grief-stricken.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe endure, we learn how to endure, how to keep going. We\u2019re marked, we\u2019re injured, we\u2019re wounded. We\u2019re changed, in my case for the better,\u201d he told me when I interviewed him in 2019. He was referring to a newfound sense of vulnerability and empathy he gained as a caregiver.<\/span><\/p>\n

Herbert Brown, 68, who lives in one of Chicago\u2019s poorest neighborhoods, was philosophical when I met him at his apartment building\u2019s annual barbecue in June.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI was a very wild person in my youth. I\u2019m surprised I\u2019ve lived this long,\u201d he said. \u201cI never planned on being a senior. I thought I\u2019d die before that happened.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Truthfully, no one is ever prepared to grow old, including me. (I\u2019m turning 70 in February.)<\/span><\/p>\n

Chalk it up to denial or the limits of imagination. As <\/span>May Sarton<\/span><\/a>, a writer who thought deeply about aging, put it so well, old age is \u201ca foreign country with an unknown language.\u201d I, along with all my similarly aged friends, are surprised we\u2019ve arrived at this destination.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve come to see that ‘no guarantees’ isn\u2019t a reason to dig in my heels and resist change.<\/b><\/p>\n

\u2014 Judith Graham<\/b><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

For me, 2025 is a turning point. I\u2019m retiring after four decades as a journalist. Most of that time, I\u2019ve written about our nation\u2019s enormously complex health care system. For the past eight years, I\u2019ve focused on the unprecedented growth of the older population\u2014the most significant demographic trend of our time\u2014and its many implications.<\/span><\/p>\n

In some ways, I\u2019m ready for the challenges that lie ahead. In many ways, I\u2019m not.<\/span><\/p>\n

The biggest unknown is what will happen to my vision. I have moderate macular degeneration in both eyes. Last year, I lost central vision in my right eye. How long will my left eye pick up the slack? What will happen when that eye deteriorates?<\/span><\/p>\n

Like many people, I\u2019m hoping scientific advances outpace the progression of my condition. But I\u2019m not counting on it. Realistically, I have to plan for a future in which I might become partially blind.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019ll take courage to deal with that.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then, there\u2019s the matter of my four-story Denver house, where I\u2019ve lived for 33 years. Climbing the stairs has helped keep me in shape. But that won\u2019t be possible if my vision becomes worse.<\/span><\/p>\n

So my husband and I are taking a leap into the unknown. We\u2019re renovating the house, installing an elevator and inviting our son, daughter-in-law and grandson to move in with us. Going intergenerational. Giving up privacy. In exchange, we hope our home will be full of mutual assistance and love.<\/span><\/p>\n

There are no guarantees this will work. But we\u2019re giving it a shot.<\/span><\/p>\n

Without all the conversations I\u2019ve had over all these years, I might not have been up for it. But I\u2019ve come to see that \u201cno guarantees\u201d isn\u2019t a reason to dig in my heels and resist change.<\/span><\/p>\n

Thank you to everyone who has taken time to share your experiences and insights about aging. Thank you for your openness, honesty and courage. These conversations will become even more important in the years ahead, as baby boomers like me make their way through their 70s, 80s and beyond. May the conversations continue.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Facing her own retirement, journalist Judith Graham contemplates the uncertainties we all face in later life and draws on what she\u2019s learned in four decades as a journalist and more than the eight years writing the \u201cNavigating Aging\u201d column for…<\/span><\/p>\n

Read more Facing the Uncertainties of Aging<\/span> ›<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":41,"featured_media":8124,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_FSMCFIC_featured_image_caption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_nocaption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_hide":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[49,5,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8123","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-featured","category-getting-older","category-issues-in-aging"],"cc_featured_image_caption":{"caption_text":"","source_text":"","source_url":""},"wps_subtitle":"A journalist considers her future as she prepares to retire","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/78.142.243.82\/~silvercentury\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8123","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/78.142.243.82\/~silvercentury\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/78.142.243.82\/~silvercentury\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/78.142.243.82\/~silvercentury\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/41"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/78.142.243.82\/~silvercentury\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8123"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/78.142.243.82\/~silvercentury\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8123\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8125,"href":"http:\/\/78.142.243.82\/~silvercentury\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8123\/revisions\/8125"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/78.142.243.82\/~silvercentury\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8124"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/78.142.243.82\/~silvercentury\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8123"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/78.142.243.82\/~silvercentury\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8123"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/78.142.243.82\/~silvercentury\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8123"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}