{"id":8366,"date":"2026-02-11T08:30:23","date_gmt":"2026-02-11T13:30:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.silvercentury.org\/?p=8366"},"modified":"2026-02-11T08:30:23","modified_gmt":"2026-02-11T13:30:23","slug":"ive-started-using-a-cane","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/78.142.243.82\/~silvercentury\/2026\/02\/ive-started-using-a-cane\/","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019ve Started Using a Cane"},"content":{"rendered":"

Does that change how you see me? It\u2019s changed the way I see me. And, to my surprise, I like this me better.  <\/span><\/p>\n

In December 2025 I had major surgery to remove a benign brain tumor called an acoustic neuroma. The procedure worked, phew. It also severed my left acoustic nerve\u2014so I\u2019m deaf on that side–and my vestibular nerve, which helps with balance and spatial orientation.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was what I dubbed \u201clurchy\u201d well before brain surgery, and I still am.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve done balance exercises for years, and I continue to. I\u2019m perfectly steady on my pins but seldom able to manage stairs without touching a wall or the railing I\u2019m always next to. I can walk at a good clip but have trouble toeing a completely straight line without a hand on someone\u2019s elbow. Not to lean on, but for proprioception: a third data point that helps me orient my body in space.  <\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s what the cane provides. My partner<\/span>,<\/span> Bob, and I took two helpful lessons in How to Cane from David Wilson, a colleague and gifted movement coach. \u201cUse as much as needed and as little as possible,\u201d he advised. In other words, don\u2019t lean on it unless you have to, and trust it when you do.<\/span><\/p>\n

My partner took to his bright blue cane like a duck to water. It took me longer.<\/span><\/p>\n

My top priority was preventing a fall. Therefore, I \u201creasoned\u201d absurdly, I could hold off until the day I would otherwise have fallen! What was the real barrier? The long shadow cast by all those old-person-with-cane signs. Was I really ready to join their ranks? Ooof. <\/span><\/p>\n

I was dismayed by my reluctance but I understood where it came from: my internalized bias\u2014self-directed ageism and ableism\u2014from seven decades living in a world that celebrates youth and speed and frames their loss as failure and betrayal. It was why I <\/span>wasn\u2019t surprised<\/span><\/a> when a much younger friend stuck to crutches after foot surgery. Crutches signal \u201cinjured,\u201d not \u201cdisabled.\u201d The stigma is so powerful that many olders shun mobility aids, refusing to use walkers or wheelchairs even when it means <\/span>never leaving home.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I figured using a cane would make me more cautious. It was the opposite.<\/span><\/p>\n

I used to tense up a bit if the path narrowed or the sidewalk grew crowded. Now I\u2019m more relaxed, which in itself makes me safer. (Ironically, fear of falling is a well-established risk factor for falls.) <\/span><\/p>\n

That fear is rational, especially if, like me, you\u2019ve taken quite a few tumbles. What makes the fear a barrier to aging well is when it limits movement instead of encouraging <\/span>safer<\/span><\/i> movement. Because I\u2019m more confident, I take bigger steps. (Shuffling is a fall risk.) Because the cane informs me about what\u2019s underfoot, I stand up straighter. (That reduces fall risk too. Heads are heavy, and hunching shifts our center of gravity forward.)<\/span><\/p>\n

Do I do all these things all the time? Nope. Do I need a third hand when juggling phone, bag, bev, etc.? God<\/span>,<\/span> yes; <\/span>I\u2019m already clumsy<\/span><\/a>. Do concerned friends ask, \u201cWhat happened?\u201d Yes, completely understandably. I hope my answer\u2014\u201cNothing\u201d\u2014is food for thought. Do I still leave my cane at home? Occasionally, but I almost always return to grab it. Friends\u2019 elbows are lovely. Feeling steady without them is liberating.<\/span><\/p>\n

Five reasons I like using a cane:<\/span><\/p>\n